please love.

and I know all about those things we cannot speak
and just so you know well they don't bother me
so you don't have to be worried
just nod your head if the plans have changed
shake it, love, if they stayed the same
smile at me and I will stay
start to cry and I'll go away
just please don't keep me waiting

 

 

just nod your head if your mind's been changed
shake it, love, if some hope remains
just say the word and of course I'll stay
roll your eyes and I'll go away
just please don't leave me guessing.
just please don't keep me waiting.

our finger prints don't fade from the lives we touch.

So, I went to go see the movie Remember Me yesterday with my grandma. I remember at the beginning thinking "Why the hell would they choose 2001? It was such a shitty year." But soon enough, I realized what was going to happen. When he said that he would wait for him in his office, I turned to my grandma and asked her, "What building are they in?" And then my assumptions were reassured. I cried. I fucking bawled. All my confusions with Ben and worries about graduating just felt so insignificant after that movie. But I can honestly say that I am STILL depressed over it. I have loved and lost and will again, but I have never lost the way that she did. I don't know if I'm strong enough to survive something like that.

You are one of god's mistakes.

You're a big boy now.

Smokin' reds just like your father.

My favorite brand,

My favorite brand,

My favorite brand

of cancer.

Like the wind disappears into the sky,

so will you and I.

I knew it, I swear I did,

"Is this all we will ever know?"

I knew the answer all along
You liked me once,
I swear you did.

You gave it away

with the taste of your lips.

I was polite,

I made a promise

and I smoke reds

just like your father.

And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem

You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after
isn't enough
and I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.


I honestly don't know what to do right now. I never thought I'd get so emotional over him. I never thought it'd end up this way, me sitting here again feeling like ever single fiber inside of me is ripping and screaming, trying to get out. I never though I'd be able to feel this way again. It's been three years since someones made me hurt this way and I don't know why I let it happen. I can't believe I let myself get so attached to something that wasn't even there in the first place. How can I survive a blow like this again? Because, once more, it was me who idealized, who imagined everything to be better than it was. He did nothing wrong and I know that. I know that. So why can't I let this go? Why can't I stop blaming him and making him into the devil of the story. ....I never was content with being an angel anyway....








And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
Cuz it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy.
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up.
But I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.