immortality was always your favorite shade of blue

i keep our memories in my pockets
next to the lint and my bad habits
i never have to forget a single one
if they're always at my fingertips.
it could've ended so much better.
we could've lived on in stories and tales
immortality was always your favorite shade of blue
but why'd you have to get so fucking high?
oh how you loved those little white lines
or was it my little white lies, dear,
that pushed you far from me.


how can i fall in love again,
when i've already hit rock bottom?

some updates:

1) i'm hosting (along with my friendyfriends julia and lauren) a holiday potluck! i'm so excited. good friends. good food. :)

2) i officially applied EVERYTHING to columbia. cross your fingers. i hope i get in.

3) i met this cutie patutie from maryland the other day. :) gotta love them baltimore boys.

these days i seem to think alot

but i never seem to have enough time.
i need to get my letter of recommendation in as well as my transcripts.

everything is moving so fast. i need to catch hold of something before it all flies away.










this definitely made my night :) haha

oh boy.

i applied. i, alyssa fayman jensen, applied for college. i'm freaking out. what if the fact that i hate high school and that i do as little as possible in said high school completely ruins my chance of EVER GETTING OUT?

i don't know what i'll do if i don't get in.



oh boy.

no pictures tonight. i need to sleep.

i've been sick for three days and in that three days i've done nothing but sleep, watch pointless t.v. and think about anything and everything. so between cold sweats and heat flashes, i've come to the conclusion that it will take more than just a low blow to the heart to stop me. i may still be heart broken and strung up on the boy who let me go, but so what? that's not going to stop me from being who i want to be. it's been three years and nothings changed. so maybe i should just embrace it and take my pain as a blessing and change for the better, instead of expecting the worse.

5ive things friday!

1) interesting interior design





2) connor oberst









3) postsecret










4) BREAKFAST









5)sushi

stop crying to the ocean, stop crying over me.

Stop worrying over nothing, stop worrying over me.

oh how i wish i could.

i have so much homework to do and i am le tired. so tired in fact that i could fall asleep right now and sleep til tomorrow. i'll just keep chanting "only a couple more hours" to myself over and over and over again.

so, i'm writing a paper on the definition of the word love and i'm nostalgically using an example from my own life. what are you experience with love? i'd really LOVE to know.

and then i'm going to re-edit my college application essay. this is so stressful. i over analyze my writing and i rewrite everything numerous times, just trying to get it right. i'm giving myself a deadline. i have to submit it by monday. otherwise i'll never do it. i just hope its good enough.




i wish i had this.



and this.



this is how i will remember you.



So it's been so long since you said,
"Well I know what I want and what I want's right here with you."

i know, i know. i'm really trying.