Minor Freak Out

I have a little over a quarter left of Highschool. I honestly am freaking out. In five months I don't know where I'll be. I have no place to live and no funds to live off of.

Oh boy. I found where I want to be, but no one I want to be with will be there with me.

I am the Shipwrecked Man

I am the shipwrecked man,

Lost, exhausted, buried in sand.

Fields of turquoise all mine eyes can see.

A million baby blues all smiling at me.

Lost, exhausted, buried in sand,

I plead with the tide, "This is all that I am!"

A million baby blues smiling at me,

Mocking, hissing, spitting with glee.

I plead with the tide, "This is all that I am!

A Seadog, A Pirate, I am simply a man!"

Mocking, hissing, spitting with glee,

My cruel mistress whispers nothing to me.

I release myself, rise from my knees.

Fields of turquoise all mine eyes can see.

She waves goodbye when water meets land.

I am the shipwrecked man.

My attempt at a pantoum poem

Do I confuse you?

Do I confuse you, he asked with a grin on his face.
Only in the slightest sense darling, I assure it's nothing I can't replace.
You're a kind hearted man with a few scars on your soul.
Believing the heartaches and the stories I've told.

"That’s the thing about letting old lovers go. You don’t stop loving some of them. There are a couple you love no less than you ever did. You’re not gonna try and make it work again, but if they needed you, you’d drop everything."

 

But tell me now, where was my fault
In loving you with my whole heart

i forgot....

i can't believe i forgot how much i missed shelbs.

t-bell.
huey long.

i'm afraid we wont know much more than this
our smoothed over smiles and conversational bliss
you're the closest thing i ever knew of a gentleman
I’m everything but the lady you make me to be
ill write you off and label you on my arm
its been better but seen worse scars
it’s the leaving that I’ve grown accustomed to
but with this whirlwind that you put me through
keeps me wanting more than you're willing to give

Maybe I would have been
Something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been
Something I'd be good at



blaaaah. i'm too emotional for this shit.
i need to sleep.

so ben and i are kinda dating. i think. haha. he asked me "how 'bout we go on a couple dates, and see how it goes?" and then i said something along the lines of yes. (:


le sigh. if only i could spend valentines day with him. but unfortunately i have to work. maybe monday, maybe.



nothings official. lesson one, don't idealize.