maybe, one day, I’ll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky.

when i see pictures of you, it's almost like the feeling when you have something to say but you just forgot it. it's on the very tip of your tongue but for some reason you can't remember it. your smile doesn't comfort me anymore. it only makes me realize what i've worked so hard to forget. you used to be someone i turned to. someone i loved. what happened?


maybe, if you didn't disappear on me like you did, maybe i would still be able to look at you. but i can't. and even after three years, nothing has changed.

i need to empty my photobucket a little bit

"It turned out he wasn’t in love with me like I thought. What I’m trying to say is, I understand feeling as small and insignificant as humanly possible and how it can ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join or glasses of champagne you drink with your girlfriends, you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could’ve misunderstood and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door and after all that however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new and you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again and it’ll be as though your soul will finally come back and all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted will eventually begin to fade."





















I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.
-Anais Nin

Don't be so amazing or I'll miss you too much

I felt something that I had never touched

i am freaking the fuck out. i have no idea how i'm going to pay for college and it seems that no one even cares to help. of course i know that's not true. everyone wants to see me exceed and get the best out of life. but i'm so stubborn that i won't accept anyone else's help.













half sack from sons of anarchy is SO SO SO adorable, it's ridiculous. this show is about the only reason i look forward to the beginning of the week. i wish my life was as crazy but predictable as a tv show.

So pleased with a daydream that now living is no good
I took off my shoes and walked into the woods
I felt lost and found with every step I took

Shall I remind you, dearest Alyssa, that the reason you care so much, sometimes even worry so much, is because there still exists between you and life, a passionate love affair.

And because of this, everything's going to be just fine.

xxoo,
The Universe

Alyssa, isn't it so romantic?

i absolutely love notes from the universe. mostly because it's true. i'll always love life. no matter what happens (or doesn't happen), whoever leaves or wherever i shall live, i won't ever be able to convince anyone otherwise.




the reassurance would be nice to wake up to every morning.












give me another two years and an endless amount of used book stores and my room will eventually look like this. i can't tell you how many times i've had a bad day and it all just melted away after reading my favorite chapter in a really good book.

Ludo more, ludo moje more

i love love love downtown! i know i'm definitely a city girl by heart. someday i'll be living there, and hopefully that day i'll actually feel at home.



Stojim tako k'o napusten brod cekam cudo
dok se negdje s horizontom spaja more ludo

(I stand by like an abandoned ship waiting for a miracle
while somewhere the horizon merges with the crazy sea)

oh croatia, i miss you so much. i can't even explain how badly i miss the sea. i only wish that i could call you home. i can't wait to go back this summer with my folklore group. i'm so excited.



hrvatska loza, creating friends, memories and vino since 1970.


and of course:


♥


i'm going to go watch a movie and go to sleep.
night folks.

so,

i found all these songs with my name in them on itunes but i can't find their lyrics anywhere! i'm so disappointed but excitd that the same time.


one day, someone WILL write a song about me. and everyone will sing it and remember how awesome i am, a million years after i die. this will happen.


...ok so maybe it won't happen. but still it would be nice.

♥








oh joe purdy. why aren't you mine?

ugh i need a haircut. maybe tomorrow? si si.

so, last night i went to pure and brought kakalina along for her first time! :) i feel like a proud momma!





this is something that bothered me. but it really made sense, and not in the "we're going to make this answer so general that ANYONE can relate to it" sort of way. more like, wow, why can't i just be happy for once? eff you facebook. eff you.






i don't know where this came from, or who wrote it, but it really impacted me when i read it. if you know anything about this puhleeze let me know. i'd greatly appreciate it.














that's the type of mother i'm going to be. i'm so sick of my parental units telling me i need to to rich to be happy, i need to get a normal job and do everyday things and make money that everyone makes. i just want to be happy. whatever that means.




♥

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand:


eugene, my future husband. i will make sure of it.

one day i'm gonna grow wings

I guess I should say thank you, for cutting all my strings. But if it's all the same to you, I wish you'd left my wings.


i am overly thankful for it to be friday. this week has been absolutely crazy. i can't remember a time when i woke up so late every single day of the week. ugh. i don't like being late but for some reason i just could NOT get up for school. oh well. it's senior year, i'm almost done.


so tomorrow i really need to do laundry, really bad. i have absolutely NO clean clothes and the mounds in my bathroom are starting to take over.




mmmmm.... ladies you might need a change of panties for this one.
♥luka nizetic


tomorrow morning i'm going to make an honest attempt at exercising, well if i'm not too hung over. but i'm really sick of being chunky. maybe i'll actually do something about it.







oh eugene, a single days blogpost would not be complete with out you.


-beautiful movie, simply beautiful.

all these passing moments weighing heavily on my heart

You are not there. Somewhere in the future, suffering for something that hasn't happened yet. You are not there, in a place where all your worries manifest.

You are not there. Somewhere in the past, reliving your old mistakes and regrets. You are not there, in a place where memories resurrect.

You are here. Right here.

-i wrote this for you




♥Eugene Hutz



So, my assignment in Intro to Theatre is to witness a conversation and act it out for the class tomorrow. I'm kind of excited, but at I don't know how good I'll be at performing a two person act, by myself. I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow.




I miss California more than you can imagine. I really hope I'm financially able to go there this summer with my friend, Eric. We'll see. Some how I'll make it back there, one way or another.




This song has been playing on repeat for the past, month? It's so completely relevant to my situations, it's crazy. I only wish it didn't put me in such a nostalgic mood. Hmph.

I've been in such a horrible mood as of late. I constantly feel like somethings missing, but I have no idea what it is. Please, someone find it and return it back to me? I don't like feeling lost, but I'm not desperate enough to beg someone to save me.



Do you remember the good times?
Do you remember the good times?
Do you remember the good times?
Cause I remember the good times
We had.